"You Need To Watch Your Kids!"

I have two small boys, 3 and 5 years old. As a mother, I feel very judged by society. I feel like I can't take them anywhere without someone having a snarky comment for me.

Case in point: We went to the library the other day, because reading to them is good for them right? So, I was picking out story books to read to them. We are signed up for the reading program and we had to catch up on our goal for the summer so I had to get a few extra from what I normally get. It hadn't been two minutes and they had taken off on me. I thought they were right there but there were a lot of kids there that day. They had also closed the play room because some genius thought business hours would be a good time to mop.

Anyways, I was looking for them and thought they hadn't gone far when this Librarian comes over with them. She said, "You need to watch your kids. They were running up and down the isles in the non-fiction section." I said, "They took off on me." She replied, "Well, they were over there for quite a while! You need to watch your kids!" and she said it so rude and condescending like why God allowed me to have children, she'll never know. This was after the story time lady yelled at them because they tried to go in the play room. There was no sign up, the door was open and they had put a table in front of the door like little kids are supposed to know what that means. The story time lady had yelled at them saying, "There's a table there for a reason!"

I don't understand one, why a story time Librarian that's supposed to be good with kids is going to be such a bitch to them and two, why another Librarian is going to yell at me like that.

I do make my children mind to the best of my ability. I can't spank them in public without getting the dirty stink eye or threats of someone calling child services on me. Time out doesn't work, talking to them doesn't work, swatting their behinds doesn't work. What am I doing wrong? And do bitches like this really think they are helping by giving me shit and making me feel like I should hide my children away in the house never to see the light of day again because they won't behave? Is that the right thing to do? I don't fucking think so.

I just don't understand what the fuck society wants from me. I am so tired, so fucking fed up with the stares, the rude comments and I feel like there's nothing I can do about it because I don't want to go off on these people in front of my kids. I'm sick of judgment. Trying walking in my shoes you fucking high and mighty pricks! You have no idea what it's like to have to say, "No. Don't do that. This and that is wrong." fifteen fucking thousand times a day to no avail. They don't listen to me.

I guess what it really boils down to is I need a damned break. I don't get those. My husband works all the time and when he is home, he's tired. We don't have a baby sitter and for some reason my kids instantly wake up when I do. I tried getting up at six this morning to have an hour to myself. It didn't work. I don't get to go anywhere by myself and they are hell on wheels in stores or anywhere that isn't home.

I can't even take them to the park without someone hurting them. I took them to the park about a month ago and a little boy that was about five pushed my five year old off the slide. From the top. He landed on his face. I thought he had fallen and didn't find out the truth until we were home.

I feel like a prisoner. I wish I could just whisk us away to some remote, unknown tropical paradise island (with internet, lol) and raise them away from all this crap.

Walking In My Shoes - Depeche Mode